Am I ? or even you Addicted to Bad Relationships? - OMAR
Do you often find that as I do, that you involve yourself in relationships that disappoints you? Are you not getting what you need and desire from the people you choose to date? Does there always seem to be something missing? If you answered yes to one or all of my questions, you could very well be addicted to disappointing and bad relationships, setting yourself up for failure without even knowing it. There are ways that we can determine whether we are addicted or not, and ways that we can break the addiction and start getting what we have always wanted from a relationship.
To start with, and you may disagree, Qatar is not the most ideal setting, or place to base or a standard for relationships, I feel that we are so much more needy, but after doing and awfull lot of research and reading, lets continue and look into other areas, before we covers issues like the symptoms of addiction, it is important that we cover the dangers of staying in a bad relationship.
Since bad relationships lack what one or both partners’ need, stress becomes a regular part of our life, as well a gradual lowering of your self-esteem, which will make you unable to focus on your career and personal life with the concentration and care needed, in order for us to be happy. The constant stress will produce chemical changes in our body that drain our energy and make us more eligible for physical illnesses. Physical abuse in a relationship is obvious to cause a lot of physical harm, along with great psychological damage, but in spite of these facts, many people still choose to proceed with such relationships, finding themselves trapped and incapable of leaving. They find themselves depressed, on a search for some relief and unfortunately becoming depressed and possibly turning to drugs and alcohol. So what are the symptoms of this addiction? Ignoring the truth would be one. If we truly know that the relationship we are in is making us unhappy but make no effort to exit from it, then we are in denial and are holding ourself hostage in a situation we do not have to be in. Making excuses for our partner’s disappointing and bad behavior will keep us trapped and is another huge symptom of bad relationship addiction, especially if the excuses you produce do not back up the facts and are unrealistic. If you do finally build up the courage to confront your partner to leave him or her but are overcome with fear and therefore back off from the confrontation, you are a high and sure victim of addiction because no matter what you attempt, you find yourself always giving in and holding on to what you know is bad for you. I know this sounds hard and harsh, but Suffering from both physical and mental discomfort once broken up, unless you get back together, is yet another symptom of addiction and should not be denied or ignored. What causes addiction to bad relationships? My good friend Shefa always say There are several levels and everyone’s addiction is different and varies. One common reason is the feeling and belief that if we end the relationship, we will never find anyone else who could possibly be interested in us or love us. You grow so attached to your partner that you forgot your life before him or her, making you feel fearful of being on your own and taking care of ourself. Fear of criticism is another reason many people remain in bad relationships. They are afraid of what people will say, believing that ending a relationship means that they are a failure and being alone is unacceptable and terrifying. Other reasons may be financial support that you are receiving from a partner, making you feel that you should tolerate bad behavior from your lover, since they are supporting you. On a deeper level, you could be addicted to disappointing and bad relationships due to your upbringing or experiences as a child yourself. Perhaps you were not nurtured or loved enough and you now think it is normal to be neglected from love, care and understanding, these are extremes, but uncovering your real feelings are very important, myself and shefa always have these deep meaningfull conversations where I delve into her brain as a Female, What should we do and how can you break our bad relationship addiction? Since this addiction is difficult and basically impossible for us to end on our own, counseling would be the best assistance for us, but we live in an Arab society, we live in Qatar, do we do these types of things, no. so start being a best friend to yourself and open the door to all the feelings you have kept locked up for so long. Stay focused and encourage yourself frequently by setting a goal, and picturing yourself away from all the disappointment and closer to all the happiness and good health you need, desire and deserve as a person. Never give up and know that you are not alone. keep in mind that there will always be a person who will be by your side and never leave you, always giving you the strength, love and support you need…and that person is YOU.
