Jumping on a Plane

Like Chocolate

I need to get on a plane and travel.

Do you ever feel that you just want to get away from where you are. I just had this amazing feeling of wanting to get myself on a plane and fly somewhere really hot and sunny. Somwhere like the Maldives. I just want to get to a hotel where the beach surrounds me, where there is nothing to do except lay under the sun, read books and magazines and nap all afternoon, then wake up and eat seafood while watching the sun go down.

I love travelling, i feel it educates us even more than books, and it opens are minds to different cultures, societies and traditions. I love airports, I love terminals and aircrafts and new places.

I love being foreign and different.

Its all about TIME

I am getting over what I had to get over. It really is all about time. Time heals. I am sure alot of what I write hear makes no sense to many of you. But I will let you into a little secret.

I actually write this blog for myself. Its like self healing. I like to write, in order to release my feelings and emotions. Its like taking a few weights of my shoulders. Writing down what you feel actually lightens the load.

If you have read my last few entries, you will see that I was feeling sad and a little disorientated. But I think I am coming out of it now. I am finally see the light (as they say)..............

Life is all about timing, when you do somthing, when you choose the time to say somthing, when you choose the time to apply for somthing, when you wait for the right opportunity, and of course waiting to heal yourself. Just like when you break you arm, it will get better, but it takes time, time to heal.

Time is what it takes to come out of depression, love, situations, and pain. It always gets better 99% of the time. I thought I wouldnt this time. That I had been so hurt or let down that I would never come out of it, but I am, its taken about three weeks, and i have finally arrived.

PATCHY.............you always get me in the end.

LAST NIGHT WAS THE WORST.

I just got this major urge to eat chocolate, luckily I have this massive plate of Patchi that someone had given me, and i hadnt touched. I couldnt stop. The rate that i was scoffing them into my mouth was faster than sound. It made me wonder, Do we feel as if we are not eating as much if we do it quicker. If we actually eat them quickly, does that mean they dont count. I know quite a few choclate lovers, infact they all have the same unique story to tell. I ate about 13 pcs in a go last night. The eveidence was their this morning, all around my bed, wrappers. I was literaly sleeping when i got the urge, and today its shows. hence picture on the right..........

what is it about Chocolate, I never have the same urge with fruit or vegatables.........................

the 80's

It happened, I have finally got the urge to write again. As many of you know, my job is mainly writing, but for some reason unknown to me, I recently had a block, I just couldn’t make the effort to start penning anything down. Well, I just had the Ipod on shuffle and what comes on, no other but Allison Moyet, for those of you who have not heard of Allison, she is basically a very famous singer from the 80’s who had a number of hits and I suddenly wanted to write, so here I am, firstly let me start by asking you, have you ever had a feeling of belonging or attraction to a certain place, feeling, group, or even time. I do, I feel so attracted to the 80’s in the sense that when I hear the music, beat and tone of 80’s music, it just conjures up thoughts of myself in London, of clubbing, late nights out at university and the weird thing is, when I did all that, it was well into the late 90’s. So why the attraction, could it be that I like what the 80’s stand for, freedom of self expression, the 80’s at it all, great music, fantastically over exaggerated clothes, even a strongly conservative government headed by none other than Margaret Thatcher, AKA woman of steel.

This summer I saw a strong comeback of tight jeans, narrow shoes, and baggy tops hit the streets like a plague. Have we tried everything, and now on the recycle trail. Have we no more ideas that we have to start digging up old trends and styles. I think the 80’s was a time for woman to start to progress and start to take on the big men, weather that be in government or even in the office. In came the working mothers, the suvs, even working from home. The 90’s was a more polished state, we had a national depression, what with the recession, high unemployment and a high crime rate. Back to the 80’s, underground clubs, drugs and babysham.

Anyway my attachment to the 80’s continues with admiration to the era of expression. I so want to relive the 80’s with the technology we have now. That would create a humorous society that is affected by media.

Its all Over Now

One of the songs am listening to now, is entitled All Cried Out, with the chorus being (you took a whole lot of loving for a handful of nothing) it made me sad, because, well I guess we have all had this happen to us.You spend a lot of time, energy or emotion on someone, and receive nothing back. Its sad because sometimes you want the person so bad, that you really loose track of whats normal, or needy, you suddenly become this person, that forgets about him or herself and put the other person first. Then when it has all ended, you overview the situation, and analyse the way in which you were treated, or the way you treated the other, the energy that you had given, its sad. It makes me wonder, can two people love each other the same, well I live with hope, I believe it does happen, but its rare, I feel that one always loves the other more, and sometimes depending on the personalities, this can put one of us off the other, or feel so secure that we explore other options, knowing that our partner will always love us, or we do the latter. Love is such a cliché, it really hurts badly, it makes you yearn. As a friend of mine used to tell me, real love doesn’t hurt, it feels good, as I always say, its better to be lonely and sleep good at night, than to be in a relationship when you go to bed with tears, fears, or anxiety. I always wonder why people stay in relationships that are obviously inactive or just unhealthy, but its deeper than that, I think we all live in hope, hope that the other will one day fall in-love with us, that she will come around, and realize how lucky she is to have me, but sometimes it doesn’t happen. You always have to try on a few shoes before you find the perfect fit, it does however happen sometimes to all of us, that we just try something on and its perfect, well that just sums it all up. I am still looking for the right Mrs. Al-Najjer.

Is love still out there, or is having a companion the new love…

I have seen the good times, I have seen the bad times, been through the wind, the snow and the sand, and guess what I am still here. As they say and I have said in previous blogs, what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.

As some one said to me once. I am sincere, top billing one day and closing the next. I change my ideas daily but I am nearly writing my memoirs, But I am still here.

I read something really interesting in a book last week, it says : If our ex partner continues to do things that annoy us, we must recognize that they are not breaking our heart. That has already happened. This is an important distinction. Unless we recognize this distinction clearly, every time they do something that annoys us, we will feel that they are breaking our heart.

I think I can say without fear of successful contradiction, life is life. Full of happiness, sadness, joy and pain. Allah will never give us something we cannot handle.

I have felt so low the last few weeks, regretting many actions, things,and words I have said. But I think letting go was the best thing I have ever done. Sometimes we carry around an awful lot of unwanted baggage in our lifes. We hold on to anger, sadness, pain, bad memories, and negative thoughts. All of this hangs over us like a dark cloud getting heavier and heavier. Yes we need to feel and go though the motions, I agree, we need to feel them, to cry and release all that energy, but we also have to let go, and embrace new experiences, accept new love, and make new mistakes. Its all part of life. I have honestly held on to some bad experiences far to long and am now starting to off load them, and I do feel better, I really do.

Honestly I am a much lighter now, and hopefully moving on with my life.

Sad to Say Goodby

I am sad to say Goodbye- I am sad to let you go.

recently I let go of somthing really close to me, and although its painfull, I beleive the term or quote "what doesnt kill you, makes you stronger", I beleive that. Although I think loss is bad at anytime. Sometimes you feel cheated, or angry, or sad. But as my cousin once said to me "Omar people come into your life for a reason, and when they leave, their is a reason, and there is always a lesson. Thats true, I can see the logic in that, but it still really hurts.

We all make mistakes, we all screw up somtimes, but forgiveness is important. It helps us grow, it makes us better people.

In writing this email, I honestly say that if anyone has bothered me, or hurt me, I forgive you. I am letting go of all that heavy emotional baggage and releasing myself from the burden. If your reading this and I have hurt you (forgive me, I have learnt a very hard lesson)

I WANT THIS "NOW"

iPhone combines three amazing products — a revolutionary mobile phone, a widescreen iPod with touch controls, and a breakthrough Internet communications device with desktop-class email, web browsing, maps, and searching — into one small and lightweight handheld device. iPhone also introduces an entirely new user interface based on a large multi-touch display and pioneering new software, letting you control everything with just your fingers. So it ushers in an era of software power and sophistication never before seen in a mobile device, completely redefining what you can do on a mobile phone.

wHAT HAVE you Done

I am not sure what has happened. I am so lost at the moment. Ok, it is not another depressing mail moaning and groaning about life. It’s actually more inspirational than that. I have kind of just finished Hillary Bonham Clinton’s memoirs, and my mind is spinning.

Inspiration is useless unless you use it. Hillary has done so much. Affected so many people, worked on so many humanitarian projects and inspired so many. It really made me sit up and say to myself, what are you doing Omar. I always felt as though I should be doing something that affects people, (in a good way) ha-ha.

I also believe that you can do things that are beneficial to others, or affect people even in small ways. You may not even know. Sometimes by just saying hi to people or asking them how they are, effects them, and, and wait for their answer, many times a day we ask people how they are while passing, but we rarely wait for their reply. Ask them, and look at them.

Hillary spoke in her book, about so many people who had affected her, giving her good and bad advice. I have said so many times, that listening is how you learn. But sometimes I learn from speaking. I actually say things and think to myself, really. I that what I believe in.

I am actually really good at giving “good advice” but really bad at actually doing it. I spurn out all these words of wisdom that I believe in, but never do.